Conditional love

Yes, then no

fast, then slow.

Up, then down

around and around.

As easy as the wind blows-

your love comes and then it goes.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it. Jeremiah 17:9.

I’m everything you could ever want.

Then, all of a sudden I’m not.

Crushed by confusion,

comparisons fly:

If this man doesn’t love me,

then what good am I?
Daughter of the one true King,

the Father hears my cry.

He says his plan is greater than mine, it just takes time.
Steady, humble, UN-conditional and true.

Hard to find that here on earth,

but I found it in You.




4-Letter Words

“Love” is a 4-letter word.  Being single on Valentine’s Day makes me associate this word “love” with other 4-letter words that I can’t say here in case my grandma is reading this.  The beginning of my day was spent being bitter, but last night I had the opportunity to share myself with a community of like-minded people and my spirits took a 180.  I realized that when I close myself off from people, there’s no space for “love”.  When I open myself up, as vulnerable as it feels, the giving and receiving of love can take place.  DUH.  Humans are social beings that need to exchange love in order to survive.  Sometimes I forget that.  Love doesn’t have to be the romantic kind or the kind you get from your family.  I can feel love toward people who I barely know, but with whom I share a human connection with, just through one genuine conversation. 

Today, I can choose to keep my arms crossed and remain within the stark, cold walls of my own head or I can open my arms up and let love in from wherever it may come.

Love your life today!

Precious Moments

Okay, now that Sully (one of my pooches) has freed me from scratching duties, I can actually write this post. 

Lately, I’ve been hearing about a lot of loss and death and it makes me thank God a couple of more times that night for the blessings in my life.  On the surface, Christmastime is about joy and love and abundance.  However, for many people, the holidays are a struggle whether it be financially or emotionally.  I’m making a conscious effort this month, as I really should all months, but especially this month, to express my gratitude for the people in my life.  Rather than dwelling on loss or what I don’t have, this perspective makes life feel FULL.

Observing the holiday season with all the gift buying and wish lists, the focus is on filling up your bags with things you don’t have, but want.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading too many minimalism blogs, but I’m much more attracted to the idea of embracing what I already have and rejoicing in those gifts.  I hear this all the time and it’s so true – I may not have everything that I want, but I have everything that I need.  Really what I’m thinking about here is people.  The people in my life make it worth living, not what I have. 

Hearing about those who have lost the ones they love has made me stop and think.  Today, I know that “it could be me.”  Whereas, a couple of years ago I was of the mindset of “that could never happen to me.”  Well, horrors that I thought “could never happen to me” have happened, but I was lucky enough to live through them.  I can see my own mortality now and I realize that bad things do happen to good people.  So, my conclusion is that the only way to really live life is in the moment.  Precious moments.  I used to think that they were few and far between; however, now I can see that every moment is precious if you’re aware of it.  Just like when I was annoyed at first by Sully demanding incessantly that I pet him, because I wanted to write on my blog – that turned into a precious moment when I actually looked into his little, bright brown eyes and saw that all he was asking for was love.

Take in your precious moments this Christmas (and every day after that too!)

“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.  I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future.  The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me.  I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.” – Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol


“We are better than we know.  If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less.” – Anonymous

Some people (mostly men, I think) struggle with over-inflated ego.  They think they are better than most; they believe that they deserve more than everyone else.

I am not one of those people.  I think I am like many women, in that, I struggle with not thinking enough of myself, thinking that I DON’T deserve certain things, and experiencing low self-worth.  WHY do we do this to ourselves?  We all have amazing and different qualities to offer this world; yet, for some reason we don’t believe it.  Actually, it’s not just “some reason”.  I can think of plenty of reasons: abusive childhood, abusive relationships, alcohol or drug addiction, abandonment, strained parental relationships, society, our culture/media’s portrayal of women, and on and on ad infinitum.

However, we are not victims.  Some of the things on that list have affected me personally, but none of them is an excuse to hate myself.  Then, why is it a continual struggle to show myself the love that so many other people have for me: God, my parents, my friends, my dogs?  It seems that if I don’t have romantic love in my life, then there is no love at all.  That could not be farther from the truth, but it is so hard for me to see and believe that on a daily basis.

Someone very special and important to me told me the other day to believe that others believe until I can believe it myself.  So, when my faith and self-love is lacking, all I have to do is remember that she believes.

Do you believe?

Fall in love with your life today.

Resurrect the wall

This is going to be short, and not so sweet.  Every time after a heartbreak, I tell myself that I’m not letting anyone do that to me again.  However, here I am…again…and my heart hurts.

My wall is going back up.  No one is getting in there for a while.  I think my higher power just wants me to be in love with me for now.

Despite the tears, tight chest, and upset stomach, I am grateful for this day.

Can you be grateful in times of loss?

The Path…

I’m reading Deepak Chopra’s The Path to Love: Renewing the Power of Spirit in Your Life.  I want to share some of my favorite snippets of wisdom so far:

Fear of commitment mirrors a belief that spirit is unreachable. Thus, love becomes hopeless (100).


I am completely loved.  I am completely lovable (1).


The spiritual meaning of love is best measured by what it can do, which is many things.

Love can heal.

Love can renew.

Love can make us safe.

Love can inspire us with its power.

Love can bring us closer to God (3).


Doubt reflects the ego, which is bound in time and space; love reflects God, eternal divine essence.


When you feel love, act on it.  Speak your heart. Be truthful. Remain open (19).


Actually asking for love is one of the most difficult things for anyone to risk, and by risking it first in your heart, your heart, you open a door that will never close again (19).


You can never receive more love than you are prepared to receive.

You cannot give more love than you have to give.

The love reflected from another person has its source in your own heart (26).


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