Changes

You may have noticed, that Tracey’s Truth has a new look.  The banner picture of the ocean at the top of the page is actually a picture that I took on the beach in North Carolina.  Total serenity!  I thought it was time for a little change, a new look, something to inject some fresh inspiration into my writing.  I’ve been completely uninspired lately, as you can see by the major lapse in time since my last post.  The tedious monotony of my corporate gig has been sucking my creative well dry.  It’s got me thinking about change.

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear “change” is the transformation I went through 2 and 1/2 years ago.  Changing my lifestyle, my city, my friends, my attitude, my thinking, my behaviors, basically everything.  Today, however, I’m thinking about all of the changes that are going on at work.  Work…boring, I know.  But, I’ve realized how comfortable I’ve become in my work environment, the people in it, my commute, my daily responsibilities, etc.  Dare I say I’ve become complacent?  God must have noticed because now everything is different.  Half of the office was laid off, my closest co-workers are no longer there (the ones who make the day enjoyable), and I’m left asking myself what I’m going to do.

Changing jobs is never easy, let alone changing careers.  Do you ever ask yourself, do I really want to be doing THIS for the rest of my life?  At first, the thought of making a career change sounds exciting and energizing, but then when I actually have to narrow down what that would  look like and what it would require, I get an anxiety attack.  I read numerous blogs and articles about people who have made the leap into a new, more fulfilling career doing what they love, and I’m always amazed by it.  It seems so far from my reality.  The numerous voices in my head tell me that it’s impossible FOR ME and that I can’t do it. Maybe they could do it, but they’re different from me.

The other voices in my head tell me that the grass is always greener and that I’m lucky to have a job that pays the bills.  Why would I want to rock the boat?  But, doesn’t that sound so boring?  We have one life on this planet and we should dare to dream and push the boundaries of what confines us.  And it sounds like that would take a lot of effort.  That’s  just my Monday exhaustion talking.  I don’t know what it would take for me to make this kind of change.  All I can do right now is stay open to the possibility that anything is possible…

Train poem

I’m usually too tired to do anything but pass out when I get on the train after work, but the other day I found myself jotting down this little diddy:

Riding backwards on the train.

Standing idle in the rain.

A whisper softly in my ear

tells me everything I need to hear.

Clear my mind of all the rage,

to keep me out of a self-imposed

cage.

Now I am ready to start my day

Sitting in a cubicle to earn my pay.

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